Raising the Challenging Child: How to Minimize Meltdowns, Reduce Conflict, and Increase Cooperation by Karen Doyle Buckwalter, Debbie Reed, Wendy Lyons Sunshine
““The best way to teach the children a habit is to adopt it ourselves.” — Abhijit Naskar, The Gospel of Technology
My daughter, who is now six years old, has been going through behavioral issues since head-start. When she got to pre-K, she got kicked out after six months. Last school year, she got suspended from school, and by the end of that school year, she got kicked out of her daycare for good. She is brilliant, and she is a sweet kid but has behavioral issues, attention-seeking.
I got to thinking about how I could break her out of her bad habits when I can’t even cut my own. I have a troubled past and childhood that has left me a little angry (a lot ). I have a terrible temper ( which has improved, in my opinion ) and slight anger issues. I don’t always make the best decisions when I am a little rattled. I have never shown it towards my kids ( I don’t want them to experience what I did), which led me to be a little more than lenient in my discipline. However, they have seen me, and mom got at it, seen me get upset with others, and handle situations in an unfitting way. I take full responsibility for how my kids deal with certain circumstances because even though I try and teach them the correct way, most kids go by what they see.
That is why I was happy when I received this book in the mail. Raising the Challenging Child is excellent for parents who lack the knowledge on how to properly communicate with their child or the best way to get through to them. All lessons stem from real situations and alternatives on how to handle it better next time. The authors offer tips throughout the book. Here are some of my favorites tips:
*Find ways to give your child more simple choices (red or blue, now or after breakfast) throughout the day. Choices=deposits. (pg. 21)
*Avoid questions that can be answered with a no. (pg. 64)
*Don’t flood your child with consequences.
*Help your child feel valued. Emotional safety is just as important as physical safety. (pg. 82)
Raising the Challenging child has helped me with communicating with my kids better and getting through to my sweet little trouble maker. I highly recommend this book.